ยินดีต้อนรับ! ลงทะเบียนฟอรั่มได้ที่นี่!   ...ถ้าคุณเป็นสมาชิกแล้วสามารถ เข้าสู่ระบบได้ที่นี่! 

Jump to content
2
  • in articles AdSense

Blogs

Beautiful And Deadly

Beautiful And Deadly

BEAUTIFUL AND DEADLY By Andrew Biggs Anubal Narathiwat is one of the largest primary schools in the provincial capital of Narathiwat, the southernmost province of Thailand right on the Malaysian border. Every morning at 8 am assembly, the 1,437 school children in Years 1 to 6 line up in front of the flagpole and sing the national anthem. A Year 6 girl takes the microphone and recites a Buddhist prayer. Half the students place their hands together in prayer; the other half cr

admin

admin

Shouts & Moans

Shouts & Moans

SHOUTS AND MOANS By Andrew Biggs Two songs threatened to bring down Thai society in just the last seven days. One was about the evils of military rule. The other was about moaning the name of your ex-lover on your wedding night mid-coitus. Which one do you want to hear about first – the political one or the sexy one? Did I have to even ask! What if I told you they were remarkably similar in their intent? We don’t need to spend too much time on the political one, and th

admin

admin

Pick-up Lies

Pick-up Lies

PICK-UP LIES By Andrew Biggs As I write this column, a pick-up truck travelling home to Hat Yai for Songkran has just crashed, killing two and seriously injuring another five of the same family. The pick-up in question lost control and slammed into trees on the side of the road in the province of Prachuab Khiri Khan, just past Hua Hin. The driver was killed instantly. The rest of the injured passengers — six in total — were sitting in the back of the pick-up and were thrown

admin

admin

Rotten Durian

Rotten Durian

ROTTEN DURIAN By Andrew Biggs I happened to be in front of the television, that ancient device we used to watch before Youtube, two Thursday nights ago when a calamity befell the nation. You may have heard it as it happened. It was around 11 pm when approximately one and a half million Thais screamed in exasperation: “What???!!?!” I was shouting it too. This story begins at 8 pm on the evening in question as I sat down to write an essay for my Master degree. This requir

admin

admin

Turd Sack

Turd Sack

TURD SACK By Andrew Biggs I once had a student who was preparing for a trip to Australia. He was a 30-year-old engineer from Chiang Mai who’d won a three-month scholarship to Melbourne. His English wasn’t great but he was a fast learner and diligent. Anyway, it wasn’t his English that bothered me. It was the way he spelt his name: Turdsack. Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t immediately jump up and slap my knee and look to the heavens as I guffaw over a name worthy of

admin

admin

The Best Laid Plans Of Crabs And Men

The Best Laid Plans Of Crabs And Men

THE BEST LAID PLANS OF CRABS AND MEN By Andrew Biggs Recently I found myself in Surat Thani at the early morning wet market. “Let’s buy some crabs,” my School Director had said the night before. “We can release them into the river to make merit.” My School Director is regular in her efforts to tam boon, or “make merit” as the vague English translation happens to be. Making merit is a bit like selfless service; doing something good without expecting a return. That is perhaps n

admin

admin

Sex Education

Sex Education

SEX EDUCATION By Andrew Biggs Three new government campaigns started up this week: 1. A police campaign demands motorists stop at zebra crossings in an effort to curb the rising road toll. 2. The Transport Ministry is launching a drive to public vans pick up no more than 13 passengers per trip, in a campaign that started last Monday. 3. The Social Development Ministry is cracking down on government officers, asking them to stop the practise of procuring under-aged prost

admin

admin

Educating The Educators

Educating The Educators

EDUCATING THE EDUCATORS By ANDREW BIGGS The whole country, from the prime minister down, has been talking education, bandying about two words in particular: “innovation” and “technology”. This culminated in an education fair entitled EdTex, held at the Queen Sirikit National Convention Center, where the consensus was that for Thailand to survive, it needs an education system that is both “innovative” and “technological”. This is a wonderful thing to aspire to. While academic

admin

admin

Farewell Jaye

Farewell Jaye

FAREWELL JAYE By Andrew Biggs The annual Australian TV awards called The Logies were on last week. A friend provided a link to one portion of the program. It was a less frenetic moment featuring the names and faces of those in the TV industry who had passed away in the last 12 months. So many faces from my youth popped up, while a singer provided a moving and slow rendition of David Bowie’s Heroes. This year one name and face dissolved in and out which brought a nostalgic tea

admin

admin

Street Eaters

Street Eaters

STREET EATERS By Andrew Biggs Living in Bangkok is like winning the lottery; it’s surprising how many relatives and friends, and children of estranged friends, come out of the woodwork at vacation time. I have international visitors visiting me regularly, dear reader. This is how I know, despite being allergic to seafood, precisely how long it takes for fish to go off. It is the small price I pay for living in paradise. Many guests are happy to fend for themselves and

admin

admin

Madness At My Local Hospital

Madness At My Local Hospital

MADNESS AT MY LOCAL HOSPITAL By Andrew Biggs As a card-carrying, law-abiding expatriate in the Land of Smiles, I am required to visit my local hospital once a year to obtain a medical certificate. Everybody applying for work needs it, not just wayward expats eking out a living in the Land of Smiles, biding their time until some statute of limitations runs out back home. It is a stipulation for having a work permit. One needs a medical certificate stating one is not suffering

admin

admin

Thrust Into The Limelight

Thrust Into The Limelight

THRUST INTO THE LIMELIGHT By Andrew Biggs Back in January, 1956, a young unknown American singer named Elvis Presley released his first single called Heartbreak Hotel. While appearing on the Milton Berle Show, Presley started rhythmically gyrating his pelvis as he sang. Half the country screamed in delight. The other half gasped in horror. What was this base, barbaric, sexual abomination of a dance that stirred the collective loins of America? The Catholic Church, always on

admin

admin

Sex And The Sunglasses

Sex And The Sunglasses

SEX AND THE SUNGLASSES By Andrew Biggs The woman gyrates in front of the camera from the comfort of her little room in the Bangkok suburbs. She is no more than 21 or 22. She is dressed in a polka-dot bikini top that reminds me of Katy Perry. She’s also wearing hoop earrings and way, way too much make-up. As she chats she thrusts her breasts towards the camera. She pouts, stares doe-eyed, then starts jiggling again along with her animated speech. Her shoulders heave and stret

admin

admin

Phayao Penis

Phayao Penis

PHAYAO PENIS By Andrew Biggs It’s been a busy news week with all sorts of issues jostling for attention, but not a single Thai man skipped over the news from Phayao last Saturday. It was the story of the wife who cut off her husband’s penis. He and the severed appendage were whisked off to nearby Pong Hospital. In a fit of remorse the wife then swallowed a bottle of weed killer and she, too, went to hospital, albeit a separate one from her phallically-challenged husband.

admin

admin

Spirits Galore

Spirits Galore

SPIRITS GALORE By Andrew Biggs It’s a particularly ghostly period in Thailand, where last Wednesday we witnessed the annual ghostly fireballs on the Mekhong River and now we’re preparing for Halloween this coming Wednesday. Seven days of spirits. Ghosts are ubiquitous in Thailand. You know how, in the West, we have the occasional haunted house? And you know how there is a variety of benign spirits in the West — playful children, jilted lovers, lonely lost Vikings, etc?

admin

admin

Mr Condom

Mr Condom

MR CONDOM By Andrew Biggs How comforting to see, in the pages of the Bangkok Post, young people using condoms with none of the hang-ups or bashfulness associated with that contraception. By using them, I don’t mean “using” them. The kids were blowing up condoms like balloons and wearing gaily-colored hats made of condoms in a news story that certainly piqued my interest. It also sent me hurtling back in time to my early days in Thailand, when there was a scourge across the la

admin

admin

The Bubble That Burst

The Bubble That Burst

THE BUBBLE THAT BURST (July, 2017) By Andrew Biggs What a jolt to my senses — and mortality — to learn that 20 years have passed since the tom yam kung economic crisis of Thailand. Man that went quickly. I was right here when it happened. I was witness to the bloated, ostentatious years leading up to it, the crisis itself, and the slow crawl out of the economic recession that followed. And I can read about it too, day by day, as it unfolded. I can’t remember who gave it

admin

admin

Bangkok Belly

Bangkok Belly

BANGKOK BELLY By Andrew Biggs My chicken parmesan was an unexpected hit. Everybody at the table commented on how delicious it was. Four hours later I am in the bathroom with a terrible case of the runs. The next morning I discover one other at the table was also afflicted; the other two were okay, although one claims to be feeling “a little off” but he’s always been a bit of a sycophant and is only copying the two of us who fell victim to my vain attempt at cooking. I r

admin

admin

Screeching Numbers

Screeching Numbers

SCREECHING NUMBERS By Andrew Biggs The phone number was not one I knew, but still I took the call. “This is Immigration Police … we’d like to make a time to see you.” Would such a phone call initially have given you a chill down your spine as it did with me? I may live a life as chaste as Mother Teresa but I still feel a sudden surge of guilt. It’s a bit like getting a phone call from the Revenue Department, or the Supreme Court, or the Narcotics Bureau. A shrill voice

admin

admin

Lies And Deceit On The Bangna Freeway

Lies And Deceit On The Bangna Freeway

LIES AND DECEIT ON THE BANGNA FREEWAY By Andrew Biggs The Bangna expressway is a corridor of lies and deceit. Describing it like that may be extreme, but we are living in extreme times. We are required to react to everything in the most shocking way, and what better way to do that than to react hysterically to things which, back in the 20th century, warranted a cursory glance with a disapproving raised eyebrow. These days it’s not enough to be cursorily disapproving. A

admin

admin

Curse Of The Dead Cellphone

Curse Of The Dead Cellphone

CURSE OF THE DEAD CELLPHONE By Andrew Biggs It was when I awoke at 5 am that the terrible realization came to the fore. The previous night, just prior to retiring, I’d performed my usual nightly ablutions. I did a quick clean up of my bedroom, placing dirty clothes in the clothes basket, as well as tossing a mountain of squeezed lemon wedges and empty yellow tonic cans into the trash. I plugged in my iPhone to charge it overnight then fell asleep. When I woke up, I reach

admin

admin

Love And Debt Alleviation

Love And Debt Alleviation

LOVE AND DEBT ALLEVIATION By Andrew Biggs Guys, I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is this: Never before have Thai women been so keen as to want to hitch up with you. We foreign guys are red hot in Thailand. And the bad news? That’s coming a little further down. The phenomenon of Thai women taking foreign husbands recently led to an internet bushfire that remains raging to this day. It comes in the form of Madame Praiya’s Institute for Lonely Thai

admin

admin

Road Angel

Road Angel

ROAD ANGEL By Andrew Biggs One of my staff bought a car this week. It’s a second-hand Nissan Silphy, which according to the old owner is “as good as new”, a statement one must take with Goderich, Ontario, the largest operating salt mine in the world. Nevertheless my staff member is thrilled to be paying 8,000 Baht to a finance company for the rest of his working life along with any future offspring’s. It was the picture of the car he posted on Facebook that piqued my interes

admin

admin

  • Blog Statistics

    1
    Total Blogs
    166
    Total Entries
×
×
  • Create New...